It can be hard to face your mortgage company to ask for help. It can even be harder to negotiate a loan modification you can both live with. While it may seem at times as if your lender is playing hardball (and they probably are) remember, they are doing you a favor by even considering changing the terms of your loan. No one (not even the federal government) can make them modify your loan, so it is in your best interest to negotiate nicely.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t negotiate a new payment you can both live within the years to come. You just have to learn a few negotiation tips.

Tip #1: Lenders Aren’t As Opposed to Modifying Loan Terms As They Once Were

With foreclosure at an all-time high, lenders aren’t as resistant to negotiating mortgage modifications like they once were. If you are proactive, able to ask for a loan modification before your home enters the foreclosure process, you can save your lender thousands of dollars in lost revenue and fees; making them more likely to negotiate.

Tip #2: Don’t Be Confrontational

Too often people look at the negotiation process as something that must be confrontational. In reality, nothing is further from the truth. Instead of fighting your lender throughout the negotiation process, enter into it with the mindset that the two of you are working together to find a win-win solution to your problem. If you consider yourselves adversaries, the conversation will be a very different, and, and much less effective.

Tip #3: Control Yourself

Facing your financial situation can be emotional. Add to that the stress of trying to convince your lender to let you off the hook for some of your debt, and you can quickly find yourself showing too much emotion. Don’t let your pride, your sorrow or even your frustration get in the way. Keep your emotions in check with every bank representative you speak with. Some will be easier to handle than others so be especially careful when dealing with the harder ones.

Some things to remember when speaking with your lender are that they didn’t get you into this mess; you did and they are only trying to help. Stay calm and always be polite. If you are very concerned about your emotions becoming a problem, you can always:

• Ask the person on the other end to hold for a second to give you time to collect yourself.
• Stay focused with a pre-prepared list of questions.
• Breathe deeply and pause before answering questions and speaking
• Don’t allow yourself to sound frustrated or angry – it won’t help!

Tip #4: Put yourself in your lender’s shoes

Think like a lender and you just might be able to negotiate a better outcome. Remember, your lender gave you the money for your house in the first place to make money, so be sure to find a way to convince them that their investment is sound; with some adjustments, of course. Be attentive to what the representative is offering and be willing to concede some issues in order to get the loan changes you need.

Tip #5: Do What It Takes to Make Your Modification Happen

Don’t be afraid to ask your lender what you need to do to get your loan modified; then be willing to do it! If that means selling your car or giving up your cell phone, than by all means agree! Some lenders don’t ask their clients to make lifestyle changes in order to get a loan modified, but some do. Be prepared for either scenario.

Some questions you might ask your lender include:

• What can I do to make this modification work?
• Do you have any concerns about my request you’d like me to address?
• What can we do together to complete this modification?

Tip #6: Tell the Lender What You Want

Now is not the time to beat around the bush. If you want your interest rate lowered to 5%, say so. If you need a payment under $1,200 a month; tell them! If there was ever a time to know exactly what you need and communicate it, this is it!

Tip #7: Offer Several Options

Sure, you may want a 2% interest rate, but if you let your lender know you’ll take a 4.9% interest rate; or a term extension as long as your payments are less than $1,500, you’re more likely to get what you want. Show your lender that you’ve done your homework and know what you want and need by offering them several solutions. A few things you could ask for include:

• Freezing your current interest rate
• Lowering your interest rate
• Increasing the loan term
• Penalty forgiveness
• Forgiveness of a portion of the principle of the loan

By following these basic tips, you’ll be in a much better position to negotiate the new loan you both want – and need.